3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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