ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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