My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
