Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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