yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
