Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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