I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize