Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
