my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
