I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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