rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
