I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
