i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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