Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
