my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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