p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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