OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
