She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
