This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
