Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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