I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize