Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
why do cheetos always look like penises
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
