Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
