yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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