Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Ladies don't puke and tell
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize