Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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