There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
