it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Randomize
