the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And then my night got REAL pukey
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
