Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
they need to just BURY HIM!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
