my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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