I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
