Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
