i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
