I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
