It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
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