Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
