he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i think i just lost a toe
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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