I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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