We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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