Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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