So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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