am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
