its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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