i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I cut my penus on the lid.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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