That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
