why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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