Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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