Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
