are you still at the devil's house?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
This house was built for laser tag.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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