Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
