two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
