im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
