Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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