A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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