if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
