the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize