We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
