btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
