first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
