you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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