p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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