Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
