She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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