Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The best revenge is premature balding
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
